HA-HA! Would-be iPad thief lost finger

A man in Denver lost his pinky finger as a result of trying to steal an iPad.

Police arrested Brandon Smith for second-degree assault and robbery of Bill Jordan.

Jordan had just purchased an iPad when the suspect followed him down a staircase to the parking garage and accosted him, yanking so hard at the iPad that he stripped some of the skin to the bone on his little finger.

Jordan's finger was so badly damaged it required amputation. (info from UPI)

Woman gets prize for setting her hair on fire

A woman in Story, Indiana whose hairspray-coated hair ignited when she lit a cigarette is now her town's official "Village Idiot." Dani Hamm earned the honorary title by getting the most votes from regulars at the restaurant where she's a bartender. The title awarded every April comes with a $100 bar credit.

Hamm was driving to work in February when she lit a cigarette and then heard a "whoosh" as her hair ignited.

She wasn't injured because she used her hands to douse her hair, which she had coated with a liberal layer of hairspray. (info from The Associated Press)

Woman crashes car while shaving her crotch

And you thought it was dangerous to text while driving.

A two-car crash on a Florida highway was caused by a 37-year-old woman who was shaving her bikini area while in the driver's seat. Her ex-husband was steering from the passenger's seat.

Megan Barnes and her ex-husband Charles Judy slammed into the back of a pick-up driven by David Schoff after he slowed to take a turn.

Barnes said she was meeting her boyfriend and wanted to be "ready for the visit," trooper Gary Dunick explained.

Barnes and Judy allegedly drove another half-mile before switching seats. When they were pulled over, Judy claimed to have been driving. The trooper noticed burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag, which disproved their story. The airbag in the steering wheel apparently did not deploy.

Three passengers – a man and two women – were treated for minor injuries.

Barnes had been driving with a suspended license, just a day after being convicted for DUI. She was sentenced to nine months of probation, and her license was revoked for five years.

Now, Barnes is being charged with reckless driving, driving with a revoked license, leaving the scene of a crash with injuries, and driving with no insurance. She could face a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation.

Judy was not charged in the crash. (info from CBS News)

Prisoner squirts breast milk at jailer

A woman in jail in Kentucky for public intoxication was accused of assaulting a jailer by squirting breast milk at her. As she was changing into an inmate uniform, she squirted into the face of a female deputy.

The woman now faces a felony charge of third degree assault on a police officer. Her bond was set at $10,000. (info from The Associated Press)

"You want fries with that?" Man arrested for putting hair in cop's food

Ryan Burke, a cook in a restaurant in Evesham, New Jersey, was charged with aggravated assault, food tampering and retaliation for a past official action after an officer said he found "body hair" in a sandwich prepared by Burke last month.

Authorities said Burke was holding a grudge because the officer had previously given him several tickets. Burke says he never intentionally put any hair in the officer's bagel sandwich.

Burke spent four hours in jail before his wife bailed him out.

The officer involved in the incident identified Burke as someone he had encountered previously. Burke said he was arrested by the officer in March 2009, after he failed to pull over for a traffic violation. Burke said the officer had frequented the restaurant many times without any incidents.

Burke said he didn't know of a problem with the sandwich until four officers arrested him in the restaurant's kitchen about 30 minutes after the food was served on Feb. 21.

"At first, (Burke) denied placing anything in his food, but then further investigation provided information that he indeed placed body hair in his sandwich," a police spokesman said.

Burke, a seven-year employee, was fired after the incident and is now unemployed. He said his life has been wrecked.

"I think that this is absurd," he said, standing on the front porch of his home as his wife and 5-month-old daughter watched. "They decided to ruin my life." (info from http://www.courierpostonline.com/ )

Drunk tried to break INTO jail

A jailbreak usually involves someone trying to get out of jail, but police in Medford, Orgon arrested a man trying to break into the County Jail early Monday morning.

At 4:10 a.m., sheriff's deputies at the jail spotted a man scrambling over a tall fence that surrounds a secure lot where arresting officers unload potential prisoners and escort them inside. Jail officials met the man on the ground and contacted police.

The jailbreaker, James DeVore, told police that he was distraught over the death of his mother and that he had been drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana, and went to the jail to ask for assistance. When he didn't get an answer at the front entrance, he decided to go around to the back.

Medford police charged him with disorderly conduct and trespassing.

However, the two criminal charges didn't get DeVore into the jail. He was taken to the county's sobering center, referred to a mental health program and cited to appear in court later. (Info from MailTribune.com)

Man arrested after complaining about prostitute

Robert Smith and Jeanna Mercure were charged with prostitution in Marlborough, New Hampshire on Tuesday after Smith called the police to report that Mercure would not have sex with him after he paid for it.

Police said Smith called the Marlborough Police Department on Monday and reported that he had paid Mercure and another person $150 to have sex with him on Sunday night but he failed to receive the requested service.

Police said they were still investigating the third person. (info from WMUR TV)