Does anybody know what this means?

"The more we diversify the marketing spend, the more important it is to tie the attribution back to a purchase path."

(from DMNews, 12/14/09)

Man with knife in chest walked a mile to restaurant and ordered coffee

OK, this may not be techically stupid, but it's certainly weird.

Diners at a restaurant in Warren, Michigan got some strange entertainment with their meals on Sunday when a man walked in with a 5-inch knife stuck in his chest.

Police said that the man called 911 at about 10 p.m., saying he had been attacked in Warren but had just walked a mile to the Bray’s Hamburgers in Hazel Park.

Restaurant employee George Mirdita said the man walked in, ordered a coffee and said he was waiting for an ambulance to come. “It was like out of a movie,” Mirdita said. “It kind of freaked us all out here. Then, the customers realized it and they were all turning their heads in disgust.”

Police said the man told them he had been walking when another man approached him and demanded cash. The victim told police that he was stabbed when he refused to hand over any cash. The knife was shoved into the left side of his chest all the way to the handle.

Police said the man tried to get help at a nearby apartment complex, but when he couldn't get help, he called 911 from a pay phone.

“Yes ma’am, could uh … is it possible to send an ambulance here?” the man is heard saying to a 911 operator. “There’s a knife stuck in my chest.”
The man then told the operator that he thinks it’s a steak knife.

Mirdita said tha tthe man was calm and did not complain of being in pain. “he was mingling with the guy next to him,” he said.

The vistim was treated and is expected to be fine. (info from ClickOnDetroit)

A blatant commercial message:Flashing red Batphone can be delivered before Christmas

Now everyone can have a red phone with a flashing light like Batman.

In general, I write at night. My day job is running a company that sells a wide range of telecommunications products. We sell business phone systems, installation supplies and tools, phone accessories like headsets, and fun stuff like this Batphone, which I designed.

When there’s trouble in Gotham City, Police Commissioner Gordon calls caped crusader Batman, the secret alter ego of millionaire Bruce Wayne.

At Wayne Manor, the flashing red Batphone is answered by Alfred the butler, who tells Wayne about the trouble. Then Wayne and his young ward Dick Grayson put on their superhero costumes. As Batman and Robin, they race from the Batcave in the Batmobile to battle evil-doers, or rescue citizens in distress.

Now everyone can have a bright red flashing Batphone just like a superhero. When an emergency call -- or even an ordinary call -- comes in, a bright red light centered in a shiny chrome ring starts flashing to attract attention.

The Batphone has classic sixties styling, with heavy-duty construction, a two-year warranty, and is made in the USA. It gets all of its power from the phone line, and doesn’t require a power cord or batteries. It can work on an ordinary home phone line, or on an "analog extension port" in a business phone system.

The phone rings when the light flashes, unless a purchaser prefers the bell to be disconnected for silent signaling, or an optional high-pitched "BatSignal" or buzzer to be installed instead of the bell. Price with the bell is $122, including Priority Mail shipping to all 50 states.

Order online at www.GetABatPhone.com, or call toll-free 1-888-225-3999.

Teen titty flasher hit by car and fined by cops

An 18-year-old girl in Invercargill, New Zealand has been found guilty of disorderly behavior for flashing her breasts at passing cars. Cherelle Dudfield was hospitalized after a distracted driver ran into her. She pleaded guilty to the charge and was fined about $200.

The alcohol-fueled prank went awry when a car hit her as she tried to run to the side of the road. A police spokesman said, "She was extremely lucky as the vehicle had slowed because of her behavior. She rolled up onto the [hood] and cracked the [windshield]."

The prank occurred in the city center, where a ban on alcohol use is in force, he noted. (info from The Assocatd Press)

Drunk driver goes to jail after pissing on cop's head

Daniel Shilts of Waldo, Wisconsin urinated on a police officer during a fifth drunken driving arrest. He has been sentenced to a year in jail and three years probation.

Shilts was arrested in November 2008 after crashing into a pole at a gas station and then nearly backing up into a police car. That was after a police officer saw him drive in the parking lane and narrowly miss the curb while making several turns.

Shilts was taken into custody after failing field sobriety tests. On the way to the police station, he urinated in the back seat of the police car and also sprayed some urine through the center divider, striking the officer in the back of the head.

Shilts was convicted of felony counts of operating a vehicle while intoxicated and bail jumping. A felony count of expelling bodily substances at a public safety worker was among those dismissed as part of a plea agreement.

The judge also fined Shilts $3,599 and revoked his driver’s license for three years. (info from the Sheboygan Press)

Pot growers busted after reporting crop theft

Deputees in Hernando County, Florida arrested five people Tuesday after they reported that some of their marijuana plants had been stolen.

The deputies were responding to a home invasion report, and the people said that the suspects stole three to five pounds of pot. Deputies found 59 marijuana plants growing in the home, plus irrigation and ventilation equipment and other items used to grow pot.

All five suspects face charges of felony cultivation of marijuana. (info from Central Florida News)

$45 to receive a phone call!

There was a time when collect phone calls (particularly from people who were at pay phones and did not have a lot of coins) were quite common.

With the ubiquity of cellphones, both pay phones and collect calling are fading fast.

There are many teenagers who have never used either -- but collect calls can still be made, at a very high price. Most collect calls are probably made from prison.

Pat Devine of Toluca Lake, California assumed that her collect-call days were behind her. Like most people, she carries a cellphone.

But when she was running late for a beauty salon appointment, Devine realized that her cellphone battery had died. She didn't want to be rude and leave her hairstylist waiting. So she looked around for a pay phone.

It was hard to find one. Most of the big phone companies have gotten out of the pay phone business.

There are now about 700,000 pay phones in operation nationwide, compared with nearly 277 million wireless subscribers. Most pay phones are owned by local businesses, such as gas stations.

Devine finally found a phone but it ate up all of her quarters without completing a call. Desparate, Devine pressed zero and was connected to an operator. Devine said she'd like to make a collect call and provided the number.

Barbara James runs the Fandango Salon in Silver Lake. She said that when Devine's collect call came in, a salon employee didn't hesitate to accept the charges.

There was no indication from the operator that this would be an expensive call. Devine was calling from only about a mile away and the call lasted roughly three minutes.

When the salon's AT&T bill arrived, it included a charge for $45.09 from Network Communications International Corp., a Texas company that says it's the largest privately held provider of collect-call services for pay phones, prisons, hospitals and hotels.

NCIC charged her $37.40 for the short local call, $4.74 in regulatory fees and taxes, and an extra $2.95 "billing cost recovery fee".

Pay phones were deregulated in 1996.

AT&T says it might charge two cents per minute for a local call made from about a mile away, albeit without an operator.

An NCIC customer-service supervisor said that Devine's call consisted of a nearly $25 "connection charge" and a rate of about $2.50 per minute.

NCIC provides collect-call services on behalf of pay phone owners and typically kicks back more than half of the revenue to the owner.

After James got her phone bill, she called NCIC to complain and about $20 was deducted from the total.

"It's like they were expecting me to complain," James said. (info from the Los Angeles Times)

Man paid to be spit at

A main in Thousand Oaks, California was arrested for misdemeanor child annoyance after allegedly paying a teenager $31 to spit in his face.

Ventura County authorities say the man had been paying Westlake High School male students to yell profanities at him and slap and spit in his face.

Investigators say several teens also alleged the man offered them money to urinate and defecate on him. He was booked into Ventura County Jail, then released on a promise to appear in court. (info from The Associated Press)

Couple busted after reporting theft of marijuana

A man and woman in Wichita, Kansas who told police that robbers stole their marijuana are now facing drug charges themselves. They said that five armed men came to their apartment late Monday night and took marijuana.

Police said one suspect accidentally fired his gun and spooked the other suspects. They ran from the apartment to a car, dropping marijuana along the way.

Police found more marijuana inside the apartment. The couple were booked on suspicion of various drug charges, including selling drugs within 1,000 feet of a school. (info from The Associated Press)

Pencil thief had $600 with him

Police in Belingham, Washington arrested a man for stealing a pencil from a store even though he was carrying $600 in cash. The man was booked into the County Jail after police learned he had an outstanding warrant for another crime.

Officers questioned the man about why he stole the mechanical pencil, worth $5.99, when he had enough money to pay for it. Police said the suspect responded: "I don't know, being stupid I guess." (info from the Associated Press)

People need people.Sometimes robots are just not smart enough

From DoTellAll.com:

Question: i have written a few books, and i am trying to get them published. i have been trying for over two years, but i haven't found anything. i want to find a publishing company that is reliable and will edit my books and work with me to get them in hard cover.

Answer: When dogs lose their hair it is normally a skin condition. You will need to converse with a vet for a skin scraping to ensure it is not a more serious condition. Long haired breeds are prone to hotspots wich cause this however, so you should not be overly concerned.

Question: i need a childrens book publisher that is in rochester ny my book is ready to be proof read and published thankk you

Answer: You can obtain a day care license through the Illinois Dept. of Children and Family Services.

Drunk woman arrested after thinking a cop was a car hop

A woman in Elizabethton, Tennessee mistook a police officer for a car hop at a drive-in, and was charged with DUI and possession of drug paraphernalia.

The incident began when someone called 911 after seeing a woman slumped over the steering wheel of a car in the parking lot of a food market. The caller then reported the woman left the parking lot, nearly striking several vehicles. The driver pulled into a parking space at the nearby Sonic Drive-In.

Elizabethton Police Officer Sarah Ellison responded to the call and approached the car. She said Veletta Newman was slumped forward with her keys in the ignition switch. When she tried to get Newman’s attention, Ellison said the woman woke up and sleepily handed her a $20 bill.

Ellison explained she was not a car hop bringing her food and identified herself as a police officer. She said Newman continued to hold the money toward her and did not seem to realize she was a police officer.

Ellison arrested Newman and during an inventory of the car Ellison reported finding a used syringe, a spoon with white powdery residue and numerous bottles of prescription medicine. (info from Johnson City Press)

Woman called 911 because boyfriend wouldn't marry her

A woman was arrested after she repeatedly made nonemergency calls to the Clarksville, Tennessee 911 system. Hee Orama was arrested after police said she complained about a man lying about marrying her.

Police said they responded to two calls from Orama and explained that this was not an emergency situation and to stop calling. Orama then called again and was cited by police and told she would be arrested if she kept calling them with nonemergencies.

Orama called 911 a few minutes later but would not say why she called. Police arrested her and took her to jail. Police said they had arrested Orama previously for repeatedly calling 911 because she couldn't find her car. (info from KOCO TV)
 
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Someone should've known that ham is not kosher.

"Chabad-Lubavitch" is an Orthodox Jewish philosophy, organization and movement founded in the late 18th century. There are about 3,300 Chabad institutions worldwide, including community centers, synagogues and camps.

The Chabad Center in Hamden, Connecticut distributed the postcard shown above. It's an invitation to a "New York Kosher Deli Evening."

The turkey shown on the platter in the photograph might have beeen kosher. The ham, however, definitely was not.